I used to love March. The weather starts to change, different fruits come into season, school starts to mellow out a bit, it’s “in between” sports for the kids, and – oh yeah, I was born in March. Not that THAT is the reason, but don’t we all kind of like the month we were born?
Now, since I can’t say the word “h a t e” (family rule), I am just going to simply say… not a fan. I try to love it. I try to feel the same happy feelings I felt years ago. But, starting towards the end of February I always feel the anxiety grow. I can remember everything like it happened yesterday. Almost too vividly.
March was when I received the call that my father was in the hospital. It was also the month I spoke to my father for the last time.
Hence the month is a wee bit difficult. Some of us have been through similar experiences, whether it is the loss of a loved one, or something tragic that happened in your life that took a little bite out of your heart, your soul. It isn’t easy.
I will always have the memories of me traveling back and forth to Dallas during the month of March, of being around my mom and siblings 24/7. Of me holding my dad’s hand and talking about all the memories I had of growing up. Waiting. Praying. Loving. And I also remember the school play my son was in on my birthday. That was the same day I flew to Dallas for my father’s funeral.
Life will never be the same.
During a physical therapist visit a few short weeks after my father passed away (yes, sometimes the whole freakin’ body just falls apart, right?) my therapist said something I will never forget. He didn’t say “I am sorry”, or “I understand how you feel”, or anything that tried to heal me. He simply said… “Just Be”. He wasn’t family, nor a best friend, he just knew he couldn’t make it better. And those words have carried me a long way.
JUST BE. Quite simple, right?
Just this morning, my yoga teacher said something that hit me a similar way. It was the day to “let go”…. to bring peace to your life and live a positive one. Ironically, today is also a new moon. The new moon is a time of beginnings, to recharge yourself, and to set new intentions. While it might not be a magical moment for me, I will grab on to anything that might help me through the struggles of life. I encourage you to do the same.
So as we head into March I will try to have an open heart and honest smile. I will love a little more, I will not dwell over the little things, and I will try to hurt less. I will blog more, and share more. And… I will “Just Be”.
We ended the class with “Om shanti shanti shanti”. For those that don’t practice yoga, repeating shanti three times represents peace in body, speech, and mind.
And it might just carry me through till April…..