Walking home from school Wednesday my daughter was complaining about the back of her knee (never mind her ability to hop, skip and jump through it!). I explained she was probably just having sympathy pains for her momma (who also has knee pain). And then I said it. Outloud. For the first time. “I might not be able to run this marathon this weekend”. Pause.
Her: “No momma, you have to run it. You have worked so so hard. Mom, you wanted to run it sooooooooo bad”.
I wasn’t expecting that response. I was expecting something a little more like “what’s a marathon?” (how naive of me) or “oh that’s ok, we can go get ice cream instead”. BUT SHE KNEW!!!! I haven’t talked about it that much, but through my training & early morning runs, she realized how important this was to me. WAS.
But I got bigger fish to fry.
So day three straight of swimming and my coach is like “what happened”? (More like why are you swimming so much?)
Back at the gym and the trainers are like “are you hurt”? (I don’t do gym too often)
I haven’t run in about 2 weeks thinking it will make significant improvements from the rest and I can run on Sunday. The knee IS feeling better…
Maybe I wouldn’t hurt it worse? What if i just get to the start line and see how I feel?
I can always take my phone and uber home if my knee hurts. Right?
But, you see, the body is way more important than a race. There, I said it. Now it might depend on the race….. (ha ha as those words are mumbled under my breath). But it’s a marathon.
Not a triathlon. But a marathon.
Not my “A” race.
I set a goal to race LA Marathon. But there are marathons every weekend.
I had my heart set to race February 14th (no pun intended). Race another day, what’s the big deal?
My knee hurts when I go up and down stairs. But it doesn’t REALLY hurt when I run. Maybe it would be ok?
The big race is Worlds in August, need to be fresh. But that’s AUGUST. really? that’s 6 months away!
And the mind races back and forth… back and forth.
I decided the risk far out weighs anything I could get from running 26.2 miles with a bum leg. As one of my clients said, “time to make an adult decision Jen” (i.e. a smart one). She followed it up with a great quote:
“Are you going to listen to the wisdom of your spirit or the drama of your ego?”
I am going to listen to my spirit, my body, and heal thy self.
I am going to be smart and sit on the sidelines.
I will accept. And now my bike can get the love and attention it deserves!
Happy Valentine’s Day!